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Square Globe News - MARCH, 2007

”WAC” Baby Sends Alarming Signals

The organization known as “Women Addicts’ Children” (WAC) unveiled their new television commercial Friday. A WAC spokesperson indicated that they have purchased a considerable amount of broadcast time for it. The spot showing an angry baby will run almost every minute of the day until viewers get so annoyed they beat their television sets senseless. A television executive added, “By spending all your money on irritating TV ads instead of on the children, we hope that abusive parents attack the TV sets instead of their kids. But we’ll cover our butts by running commercials for brand new high-def plasma TVs before every WAC commercial. So if the TV gets destroyed, they’ll know just where to get another and they’ll be back watching again in no time”.

Some critics argue that the real purpose of the commercials is to subliminally promote abstinence, which will lead to a lower birth rate. A boy on the street corner outside says this is actually desirable because “the stupidest people take the most drugs and watch the most TV… and they also have the most stupidest kids, like me !”.

When asked about this new approach to mitigating child abuse the TV executive added, “Nothing is too good for the kids, including birth control. Adults can’t watch as much TV when they have kids to take care of”.

A brief clip from the ad is shown below (click the Refresh button on your browser to replay).

“Your car tells you when it’s getting low on something important. Your crack baby (if he or she lives) will grow up and tell you to go to hell !”.

 

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