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Square Globe News - JUL, 2006

President Bush Admits Spying On Himself

In a bizarre press conference today, President Bush admitted that he had spied upon himself.
"I liked what I saw, and I'm not ashamed to consider admitting it - I think y'all need to see this",
the President said, while holding a camera phone under the podium.

When asked what he had hoped to accomplish by such an act, he replied, "in the interests of national security, no bones should be left unturned".   Heraldo Rivera immediately jumped up and asked "what kind of bones are you talking about, Mr. President ?".   "I'm talking about BONES, ... the kind that need to be TURNED !", the President replied.

 

President Bush describing one of his videos at a press conference Thursday.

“While we’re on that subject, I’ve had a short talk with the House Majority Leader.“ President Bush said and then added without DeLay, “I’ve got a lame Dick vice president, but I’ve got a John Boehner in my pocket !”.

"We're surrounded by spies.   I'm surrounded by spies !   I was hoping to catch one in the act ... along with some action."   A spy in the audience asked "Were you successful ?".   "All those pictures of me and not a single other person in sight." the President said.   The spy continued, "What about the 'action' ?".   The President just grinned and said nothing.

After a short break, the conference resumed with a question from an unnamed source, "Have you seen any good domestic spying videos lately, and do you think they should make more of them ?".   The President looked perplexed and replied, "Who's 'they' ?   I make all the domestic spying videos [of] myself.   I made one just a few minutes ago, in fact.    I call it ‘Press Conference Potty Break’ “.   Mr. Bush held up a DVD and announced, "who wants a copy ?".   An anonymous Secret Service agent seized the disc from the President's hand and sealed it in a diplomatic pouch.

A dejected Mr. Bush then called an end to the conference, when laughter could be heard coming from the cell phone behind the podium.

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