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Spanning the Four Corners of the Earth |
Something Funny is Going on Here |
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Square Globe
News - JUL, 2006 In a recent session with his therapist, former Monica Lewinski mentor Bill Clinton confided that he is still perplexed by the meaning of the word “is”. A transcript of the session was secretly leaked to Vanity ire Magazine, and SG-News has obtained a copy from the local newsstand. Below is a portion of that transcript: Therapist: What is it like not knowing the meaning of “is” ? Clinton: The words “is so ! is not ! is so ! is not !” keep repeating in my head over and over again endlessly. The meaning of “is” ? I always ponder that. Therapist: Your affliction is a type of dyslexia. In a normal case of dyslexia, a person often scrambles up the letters of a word when writing it. But in your case, apparently, you are confused about right and wrong, and which of those is right and which is wrong. Clinton: Right is wrong, wrong is right ? There is “is” again ! Therapist: So you can’t tell what the meaning of “is” is, but can you tell what it isn’t ? Clinton: … is or isn’t – it’s really the same thing – like positive zero and negative zero. Therapist: Say what ? Clinton: What. Therapist: Never mind. [Song Plays …] Clinton [after coming out of an apparent trance]: I’m confused. Did you say the title of the song was “is You is Or is You isn’t My Baby” ? I thought the lyrics of the song were “is You is Or is You ain’t My Baby” ? Therapist: Ah… so you did notice the difference between “isn’t” and “ain’t”. ? Clinton: I’m a southern boy – I know the meaning of “ain’t”. Therapist: Excellent. The word “ain’t” means the
same thing as “isn’t”. So that means you know the meaning of “isn’t”,
because “ain’t” and “isn’t” are the same thing. Clinton: “ain’t no” ? “not ain’t” ? Or wouldn’t that be like “ain’t” without the “n’t” ? Is “ai” a word ? Therapist: “ai” is an abbreviation for “Artificial Insemination”. Clinton: … wow … WOW !!! – Now everything makes sense !!! Therapist: In what way ? Clinton: I’ll save a bunch of money on my health insurance by switching to AI-co !!!
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